Single Status Update
The Interview: Howard Orr
What is your name:
Where were you born:
New York City.
Do you have any family:
Yes. What does it matter? You want their address too? What? You’re looking to sleep with one of them? Then why do you need to know their names?
Where do you see yourself in 10 years:
Retired. Damn it, what is it with you and your wanting to know more? Fine. In ten years I want to be retired, enjoying being home with the love of my life, Melina and have my sons come over at least once a week for some fun. Yeah sure, if cards is what you call fun.
What is your goal:
To make my star wet, to take her, make her moan. To be the man who lights her fire. To gently whisper my love in her ear as I press myself against her. To have her bite my shoulder, so her climax doesn’t wake the neighbors. To deafen everyone for miles around when I—What? You wanted me to elaborate, now you want me to stop? You ever make up your mind?
What obstacles have you had in your life:
People like you who can’t seem to know what they want. Yes, I’m serious. Next question.
How have you overcome them:
I don’t know. Right now I’m thinking about bending you over the table and fucking you until you’ve made up your mind. What does that have to do with anything? I’m not making love to you, I’d be fucking you. Geez, you even know the difference? No? Well, I can show you what it’s like to be fuck. And don’t give me a damn thing about watching my fucking language, I don’t care!
What are you most passionate about:
My wife and my sons. Oh? Now you don't want me to go on? You getting uncomfortable boy?
Do you have a pet peeve:
Damned demanding people who just can’t decide if they want me to go on or not.
What relationship—romantic or otherwise—has been the most significant in your life:
My wife, and you can bet your ass it’s romantic. I don’t wax poetic for just anybody. Only her. She gave birth to my sons, she loves me with all my damned faults. I’d curb all my needs if she’d ask me to.
What has been your greatest accomplishment:
Getting out of the mines. Damned place was going to kill me. Coal mines. I worked there from fourteen until I was twenty-one. I would probably have spent my life there if not for Melina. Meeting her gave me the strength I needed to embrace the uncertainty that’s life.
Your greatest failure:
I don’t know, taking the mining just to start with? Got into an argument with my Pa and I ran off. After a week riding the train I had nowhere else to go, so mining seemed like a thing to do.
What do you consider your greatest strength:
My sons, and my wife. If not for them, I’m not sure what would have become of me.
Your greatest weakness:
That’s none of your fucking business.
How do you compensate for your weakness(es):
Ah, really? You’re going to try that double psychology crap with me?
Are you well-liked? Why or why not? If not, would you want to change that? What changes would you be willing to make:
The guys who like me, like me. Those who don’t I couldn’t give a crap about.
What one thing is essential to having a good day? Or Describe your hypothetical best day ever:
My wife, or my sons, either will do. Really? You want me to give you details? You freaked out when I went poetic, and now you want details about what I’ll do with my wife? You can’t deal with me and my wife, and you want to hear about my sons? Or are you actually looking for my to fuck you?
What is your decision-making process:
I do it, what’d there need to be a process to it?
Who do you admire most:
Admire? Why the fuck would I admire anyone?
Which Deadly Sin would you be:
Ah! Lust, no doubt about it.
Who is your role model:
Me, myself and I. what’s this crap about role models. Look at what you’re doing, not the rest of the world.
What is your favorite book:
The newspaper. I let my sons read books, they’re the intellectual ones.
What is your weapon of choice:
My claws. I don’t fucking care about the laws, if someone comes at me or my family I’ll be receiving him hands open and claws out, and there won’t be anything left of him by the time I’m done.
Do you have any spiritual belief/s:
Spiritually is for suckers.
If you could be in a Disney movie, what would your role be:
I’d be the hunter in that Bamby movie.
Which emoji describes you the best:
Do I look young enough to care about that internet crap? You[‘ve got to be kidding me, your’e what kid? Forty? Fifty? And you waste time with that? Come to my place and I’ll show you how you should be spending your time.